So I have decided to miss the deadline today for the fem glossary. It's either i had rushed it yesterday, grind through the terminologies and hand it in today...I should have done that. I went to sleep instead and dealt with it today thinking I might be able to do a better job. Problem is, I don't seem to care too much about it or I am numb from panicking. I don't know what it is. I will hand it on Friday morning at 10:00 though. Finish it off b/c it is for a grade. I had lost 2%. 20 terminologies and i have roughy 12 done so 6 more to go. This assignment is draining and I know I should have started earlier. I planned on starting earlier but it never happened. My schedule is insanely packed that I don't know where time has gone. And I could only handle one thing at a time. But today, all i want to do is forget about this assignment and sleep. Something is unsettling---like a form of depression...isolation...disenchantment. The thought of the iron cage keeps creeping back to mind...Why am I doing all of this?!?!! I can't wait to go to Montreal! I feel so alienated here. I don't think I could handle another semester with this mindframe.
Feeling incredibly WEAK...and thoughts of calling him to reassure my strength. I don't like the way I am writing right now. I don't like the way my mind is thinking right now. It is dazed...lost...I feel like throwing up. What do i have to do to get through this? How do I avoid ever doing this to myself again? Ugh. Such mundane-ness.
I have a dinner date tomorrow which I'm really excited for. I know it's going to be fun--it always is.
No comments:
Post a Comment