evening: call me crazy but i just made a confirmation on the place I saw thursday...$525 not including electricity and Internet...might turn out to be $550-570 a month. I am tired of searching for a place and this might be the best I could get...fuck it!
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so as she didn't reply back yet, I called her yesterday...cancelled...and switched my commitment to another place yesterday (sunday) for a smaller less nicer room shared with another student in a basement of an apartment. lol ghetto...BUT it's $430 a month plus internet. I have to buy my own kitchen pots and pans and everything though. And I have to give her a 300 dollar deposit and first month's rent today. Here goes some major impulse buying. It also doesn't have a washer and dryer but I'm sure I could live with that...
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So it's illegal in Quebec to ask for a deposit but she's going against that...thought I'd feel happier after the signing but...something feels off...I hope I could shake out of it soon. It's nothing like what I had hoped for.
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wasn't sure whether i would record this but as my memory of this dream slowly slips away i feel i should dissect it while i still have part of it. It took place in the delivery room with a first person perspective of the woman in labour. As she was pushing and giving full trust to the nurse and doctor...as she was contracting...as they were measuring her...they stopped altogether because the woman had been of suspect for something mischievous...She probably was guilty of something i did not know what...it was probably something horrible...but the questioning and idling took hours...and i watched the focus being shifted so drastically that the birth was no longer a subject
Two three hours must have passed by in the dream state. And as the focus turned back to the unborn it was acknowledged that it was too late. I saw the hopeless look in the woman's face and heard the nurse say, "you could just shake it out". No questions, no sympathy...no apology.
And I saw the woman argue with the doctor a couple days later when she regained her strength. I saw how she tried to stay collective and reason with him...how could he have let this happen. And the doctor reasoned back--that it was all part of procedure that she was guilty of something...that she was in the wrong. I saw her grew quiet and left.
Then she drew a weapon. Her laptop...her address book and the emails to local newspapers...and she began to tell her story. Half awake, i wept as she wept...writing down every ounce of disbelief how this could be 'normal' and 'accepted'. A knock on the door. It sounded to be the doctor. She sent out half the written story...just for keeps sake...and she cowered under the table. I couldn't dream anymore.
Lala, that was a really sad dream! Have you been watching movies similar to that lately? Usually watching/hearing stories like that will trigger dreams to go wild in a similar fashion. It's ok. It was only a dream. *hug*
ReplyDeleteThe place doesn't provide electricity and internet? That's expensive dear. Don't just give up and settle for anything. I didn't know they didn't provide utilities. But now that you have, I guess it's too late. That's ok. :) YOU FOUND A PLACE! WE should cheers to that instead.
hmm perhaps but that movie i watched two months ago...it's called il y a lontemps que je t'aime. such a good movie though twisted. plus...i guess it's b/c of the apartment searching stress and interaction with the plateau jerk. And in a sociological point of view, this stuff happens all the time
ReplyDeletePromise next post won't be such a downer.
Elizabeth's birthday tomorrow=). going to surprise her with breakfast! thomas is here =)